Date-Abled

This post is mostly just me venting more than anything. The dating game is much harder for people with disabilities. It is difficult to find people who understand all of the intricacies that come with a disability. Actually, dating is hard for everyone regardless of ability, but this blog is a place where I can complain about my struggles. Welcome to the Kyle pity party! Everyone is invited.

Are you self-conscious about the hair on your upper lip? Keep breaking out in acne? Bad hair day? What you need is single and available. Howdy, I'm Kyle, and I am blind, so I'll never know…

That’s the intro to my profile on several dating apps. I’ve tried them all: Plenty of Fish, Hinge, OK Cupid, Match, Tinder—you name it. I even ventured into a few disabled-specific apps, but they seemed full of old, forgotten profiles with no local users in Canada. Despite my lack of luck, I stubbornly keep an active profile on one or two of them at all times. Because what else can you do but get back on that horse and keep trying, right?

While conventional dating works for some, it feels like a no-go for me, mostly due to my condition: Friedrich’s Ataxia. FA doesn’t hold back. Not only is my vision impaired, making me legally blind, but being a neuromuscular condition, it greatly limits my hearing as well. So, navigating the dating world comes with its unique set of challenges.

Navigating Okanagan Lake, its possible, just a little bit harder for me.

So let me set the hypothetical scene: I’m in a coffee shop with my care worker. A cute girl notices my devilishly handsome smile and makes her way over to praise my pearly whites. Unfortunately, the noise from the coffee grinders and the music playing drowns her out, and because of my blindness, I didn't even know she was addressing me. Oblivious, I continue to quench my thirst with the nectar of the gods.

Understanding is a quality I find very attractive in a partner. Who better to understand my disability than another person with a progressive neurological condition? I met a girl on Plenty of Fish who had Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome. She was genuinely funny and very sweet. Our first date at Starbucks in the mall went smoothly and was totally tubular, brah. We made plans for a second date at a sushi restaurant in a neighboring town. The second date seemed to go well... or so I thought. When I got back to my bat cave, I texted her saying, “I had a lot of fun and hope you did as well.” She replied that she did too, but that was the last I heard from her. Back then, I still had my sight, though my hearing was not great. This was in 2017, and Jeff was my care worker then. Luckily, Jeff could drop me off at dates and bugger off for some time to give me privacy.

However, now my abilities are further limited and there are more complicated logistics with dating. If I ever get to the point where I’m going to meet a girl, I face the awkward choice: do I bring along a care worker as an awkward third wheel to help push my chair, feed me, and help translate if I can't hear? Or do I leave those tasks for my date to handle, allowing us to have a one-on-one date? It’s a tricky balance to strike, to say the least.

In conclusion, dating is hard, lots of fun, but also sucks balls. It's a complete mindscrew and it is a rollercoaster with twists and turns and full of loops. Not to toot my own horn, but I know I’m a decent-looking fellow, with excellent hygiene, a deep love for dogs, and a sense of humor like no other. I could charm the pants off any girl… I just need the opportunity…*wink wink nudge nudge*

I don’t have any photos for this blog post so I have just lightly peppered in a few showcasing my stunning and rugged features for the ladies.

5 Days of Stank

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